Conflict resolution 1
Rationale:
The human being is a social being. As a result, each one of us needs to be in different kind of relations with others and with the environment around. Another universal truth is that we are all different. So, when it comes to relations, disagreements and different opinions are inevitable. It is a fact, and we just need to find the right tools and mindset when a conflict situation arises.
The emotional side is very important in this situation and probably the most important one that we need to take care of.
Before we discover the tools and the mindset need it to have efficient conflict resolution lets first define the conflict, its stages of escalations, types or categories.
- Definition of conflict.
An extended struggle: fight, battle: a clashing or sharp disagreement (as between ideas, interests, or purposes): mental struggle resulting from needs, drives, wishes, or demands that are in opposition or are not compatible.
- Stages of a conflict escalation.
Conflicts can escalate or not, depending on how skillful the ones involved knows how to communicate to reach an agreement.
So, the first stage is the disagreement.
- Disagreement – is a situation in which 2 or more parties are having different opinions over the situation they are discussing about. At this stage the conflict is just at the level of ideas and is the most recipient stage, negative emotions are not involved. At this moment we can even say that we are not even dealing with a conflict.
When it comes to the level of strongly supporting a point of view and the persons are having negative emotions about it, it escalating to the level of fight.
- Fight – is a situation in which 2 or more individuals are arguing strongly verbally, or even become physical aggressive with each other.
At this stage the fears of the parties transformed in anger. Usually, the most triggering fact is lacking respect. This is also the stage in which we usually call in a mediator.
- Trial – A higher court is called into the conflict to analyze the situation and apply the law of the community, state, region, or continent.
This is the stage in which the conflict is official, and the resolution takes longer, it can get to even years or decades.
- War – is a high-level conflict, that happens between states and the court couldn’t solve it, or even the court wasn’t even involved and from the stage of fight jumped directly to using guns and other types of weapons.
At this last stage we really do not want to go and is better to do all our best to solve it at the level of the previous phases.
There are many theories out there but today we will focus on one developed by Eric Braham on the Beyond Intractability website in which he is labeling the stages and it lays them out in terms of time and intensity.
Latent Conflict
This is the situation where there are differences of viewpoint and things that bother individuals or parts of a group, but these are not great enough to upset the status quo. This stage can also be described as “unstable peace”.
Conflict Emergence
Where a conflict has remained latent for a period of time, this stage marks the point that in emerges. Maybe due to a specific trigger or an increase in underlying tensions.
Conflict Escalation
During the escalation stage the intensity of a conflict increases and the way in which individuals and groups interact begins to divide them. It often means that points of view become more entrenched and polarised, and people start to take sides.
(Hurting) Stalemate
Once conflicts escalate for awhile, they often reach a stalemate: a situation in which neither side can win, but neither side wants to back down or accept loss either. In a situation between individuals or within a group this can be the stage where separation occurs.
De-escalation / Negotiation
All conflicts, no matter how decisive they appear, at some point move on. Having arrived at a stalemate and a situation that neither side can win, a shift of emphasis can occur that cools the tension and a willingness to move in a different direction emerges.
Dispute Settlement
As an intractable conflict comes to an end, the components of the conflict start to change. New or greatly changed collective identities become dominant. Grievances underlying the conflict are often reduced for one side, but to resolve the conflict, the other side’s grievances must be minimized also. It doesn’t work to satisfy one side, but increase the harm to the other.
Post-Conflict Peacebuilding
Even after a settlement is reached, this is by no means the end of the conflict. The settlement has to be implemented. The key to transforming conflict is to build strong equitable relations.
In order to find the best resolutions let’s take a look to the root problem of it, meaning to find and identify the cause of the conflict.
The main causes of a conflict are divided in 4 categories: misunderstandings, disagreements, different points of view and different goals. Taking a good look at the situation we are dealing with and clarifying the cause we can identify the resolutions building up of these categories as it follows.
- Conflict Categories.
- Misunderstanding – the solution is to provide accurate information.
- Disagreement – the solution is to friendly debate and lead to a resolution or on agreeing to disagree and move on.
- Agree on a common goal but disagree on how to get there – the solution is to find a compromise and combine the different strategies.
- Having different goals – the solution is to find a win-win situation through collaboration.
Let’s go and see some examples:
According to Crucial Conversations book, written by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Al Switzler, Ron McMillan, the most important principals in having the communication continued in a conflict situation are:
- mutual purpose and
- mutual respect
Why mutual purpose?
Previously we showed that there are 4 causes for a conflict and all the resolutions are about coming to a common understanding. That supposed to have a mutual purpose. How can we find a mutual purpose, when the conflict is already there and already sides are taking and purposes are different?
When we succeed in relating both parts to universal principles (to take a “higher view”) – then we can find the mutual purpose. Both parts need to believe in that principle and relate to and in this way find they have a common goal.
But what is a prerequisite for a person to believe in some principals? Is building the trust, and trust can be built when both parties respect each other. When 2 people respect each other? When there is no fear or anger.
What is fear and anger, negative emotions associated with the other person behavior or attitudes. Breaking down the problem, and clarifying that behaviors are not defining the person and they are contextual depending on individual state of mind and his own problems and challenges which means they can change rapidly in time, creates the openness in the other person to be compassionate and more understanding. So, this is why the second principle is mutual respect.
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